05 November 2009

a change in me

there's been a change in me
a kind of moving on
though what I used to be
I still depend on
for now I realize
that good can come from bad
that may not make me wise
but oh it makes me glad

and I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
my childhood dreams
but I don't mind
for now I love the world I see
no change of heart a change in me

for in my dark despair
I slowly understood
my perfect world out there
had disappeared for good
but in it's place I feel
a truer life begin
and it's so good and real
it must come from within

and I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
my childhood dreams but I don't mind
I'm where and who I want to be
no change of heart
a change in me

no change of heart
a change in me

A few weeks ago as I was walking to work and thinking about life (yes, I got a job, it is at the grocery store Macey's in Provo) this song kept coming to me. It is from the musical "Beauty and the Beast," originally sung by Susan Egan, but the version I have and love is by Mindy Gledhill. (Can I just say that I love the songs she sings, every last one of them. She sings with such emotion and I can just feel the songs.) Just about every word of this song can describe my life right now. The last little while I have really noticed that I changed a lot over the course of the summer and I didn't even notice it. I have become more patient in my life and a lot better at waiting on the Lord. It is definitely something I was struggling with for at least the last year, but now I am content to be patient and wait for things to happen in the Lord's timing. The other day in my scripture study I was reading in the end of Matthew 2 and there is one verse that tells about Christ growing up in Nazareth, but there is a footnote to the Joseph Smith Translation with 3 more verses, 24-26:

24 And it came to pass that Jesus grew up with his brethren, and waxed strong, and waited upon the Lord for the time of his ministry to come.
25 And he served under his father, and he spake not as other men, neither could he be taught; for he needed not that any man should teach him.
26 And after many years, the hour of his ministry drew nigh.

Christ "waited upon the Lord for the time of his ministry," and it says that it was only "after many years" that "the hour of his ministry drew nigh." Christ waited upon the Lord for a very long time (he didn't start his ministry until he was 30), and as I am learning to wait upon the Lord I am becoming more like Him. And just like the song says, for the most part, I AM where and who I want to be. And I am willing to wait for what the Lord has in store for me. :)

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