12 November 2008

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me

So I kind of have this problem wherein I get excited about many different things. Generally this is a good thing because being excited and happy is a good thing, but difficulties often arise when the various things I am getting excited about are what I am going to do with my life. I graduate in December and so now I am striving to make the decision of what I want to be when I grow up, what path I should pursue after graduation. There are so many options and I would enjoy and grow from all of them. So it is hard to make a decision. As an example, I will share an event from my life last week:
One of the things that I am looking into doing after graduation is Teach For America, which is an amazing program and I would enjoy doing. I was invited to a luncheon with a few students currently in the program and other prospective core members. And it was a great experience. I came out of the luncheon feeling that TFA was the thing for me! I was so excited to go and teach underprivileged kids and knew that it was going to be a great experience. I had started my application for the program and only had a few short essays to write before submitting it three days later. I was on my way! Then, the next day I went to an information session for the Master of Public Policy program here at BYU, which is another option I am looking into. I sat and listened and thought, well, of course this is what I want to do! I was all excited to apply to and begin the program. So the problem is that on Wednesday I was all for TFA and then Thursday I came home all revved up for an MPP. And from time to time I get excited about my other options: an internship with the LDS Church Humanitarian Services, finding a random job working in a local NGO or other service organization, getting a random job in an office and volunteering in many different organizations, or so many other things . . . I am excited for what the future will bring to me, but I just wish that I could decide which step to take. I love getting excited about things, but sometimes it is also frustrating. And yet, amidst all the confusion, I am certain that everything will come together in my life and work out for the best. I have faith and hope that it will, and it will. :)

p.s. I had second thoughts about TFA (not wanting to apply on a whim) and so decided not to apply until the application deadline in January, to give myself more time to make the decision.