17 July 2008

unfold

what i can remember
is a lot like water
trickling down a page
of the most beautiful colors
i can't quite put my finger
down on the moment
that i became like this...

you see i am the bravest girl
you will ever come to meet
yet i shrink down to nothing
at the thought of someone
really seeing me
i think my heart is wrapped around
and tangled up in winding weeds

but i don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold

these hands that i hold
behind my back are
bound and broken
by my own doing
and i can't feel
anything anymore
i need a touch to remind me
i'm still real

but i don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold

my soul
it's dying to be free
you see.. i can't live the rest of my life
so guarded
it's dying to be free
it's up to me to choose...
what kind of life i lead

but i don't wanna go on living
being so afraid of showing
someone else my imperfections
and even though my feet
are trembling
and every word i say
comes stumbling
i will bare it all... watch me unfold
unfold

I will allow someone to love me
I will allow someone to love me.

This song could potentially be another of my theme songs. It is by an amazing new artist that I ran across a few months ago, Marie Digby. I am definitely a fan of her music and I especially love this song because it kind of describes my life. Because I am completely strong, and yet completely weak, especially when I have to think about potentially totally putting myself out there for a relationship or something like that. I really want someone to see who I really truly am with all of my flaws and imperfections but I fear that once someone really knows me, they won't like me, but I don't want them to like someone that I am not either. So basically I just need to deal with it, bare it all, allow someone to love me, and allow myself to potentially be really hurt, but hey, supposedly "bittersweet is better than safe and sorry." :) And one of these days I am just going to have to take a risk.

On a lighter note, the past three weeks I have had the amazing opportunity to be an EFY counselor! It is seriously the best job ever and I love it!! I am currently on my week off, but starting next week I will be working three more glorious weeks with the amazing youth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the other amazing counselors and friends that I have met, and the great teachers and session directors that we have! I love it!!

0 comments: